Effective communication is the foundation of any relationship. Communication skills are learned from birth on and directly affect our ability to build, maintain and repair our relationships. A paradox is defined as a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well founded or true. In the journey of life, we all yearn for human connection. We strive to connect with our loved ones, our friends and our neighbors. Our relationship bonds to people bring warmth, love and joy to our lives.
The first universal paradox in human relationships is the fact we all share a cosmic connection to one another that goes back to the beginning of time. The paradox lies in the fact most of us don't recognize or realize the inherent connection we have to each other and go about spending most of our energy and time in life actually sabotaging these connections. Just take a moment and think about the emotional elements of shame, blame and guilt in your life. What role have they played in your life to challenge and sever the connections with the people in your life?
Take the example of the loss of a loved one and the process that follows. Early on, everyone surrounds you with love and concern. Yet, one month later, how many of those same people would try to avoid you at the super market, not knowing what to say given the time that has passed. In reality all you needed was your friend to be present and willing to listen. Instead you find them running for the aisles. To Dance With The Elephant, we need to face these uncomfortable moments and reach out to one another in loving kindness and presence. Be present with presents.
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There are universal truths that connect each of us to a past history that goes back not just hundreds, but billions of years. When you look up into the sky at night, those stars were responsible for creating the fundamental elements that make up all living things. The majority of the elements found in the periodic table were made from the birth and death of stars. The universal truth is the fact those elements form the building blocks of life that link us directly to the stars in the sky. We are and have always been connected to these beginnings.
Who we are and what we become in life is based on two primary influences, our biology and our environment. We have a biological genetic history that was passed down to us from our parents, our grand parents, our great grandparents and so on. Those genetics were directly responsible for the shape of our nose, the length of our arms and the size of our brain. Of equal importance is the social environment we grew up in. What were the values, norms and cultural guidelines of the tribe you grew up in? In order for you to be accepted in your family, community and world, you had to conform to certain ideas and concepts that formed the way to look and think about life.
My Dad always had the saying, "The apple falls only so far from the tree". He use this phrase when he'd talk about kids in the neighborhood. This inference was that if you knew the parents and how they acted, you most likely knew how the kids would grow up and what you could expect out of them. The universal truth here was that only a given amount of change can be expected from one generation to another.
These universal truths are all about our ability to identify our "receptive choice" in life. Although there are certainly limits as to how far one can live outside the norms and values of the society they live in, there is definitely an opportunity to discover your universal creative power and to pursue a life filled with personal passion in pursuit of fulfilling purpose and happiness.
Duane: The final piece of the equation. Your Cosmic Legacy. This term probably needs some definition before jumping right into it. Why Cosmic? It means vast, immeasurable, incalculable, infinite and boundless. The tie to everything that has meaning and purpose. There is an endless chain of connection that ties all the galactic activities of the past to the informational and technical advances of the present. And this pattern will continue on into the future.
Don: The word Cosmic here signifies the connection between the micro-role you play individually and how that at the same time is a part of the constantly changing macro-universe.
Duane: Have you ever asked yourself what the driving force behind mans undeniable need to feel connected? Brene Brown, a well respected researcher, speaker and author on the topic of human behavior and interaction, drives home the need for human connection as the key factor to happiness and joy in life. The ah ha! for Don and me here is the fact we are all connected, not just fellow homo sapiens, but to the 13.7 billion years of cosmic evolution and every player that contributed along the way. The question here is not one of creation but one of identification. No one has to create connections to one another, all you have to do is identify the connections that already exist. Since the beginning of time, what has evolved is an infinite web of creative connections that tie all things in the universe together.
Don: Do I need a life-time of playing cards, going bowling, attending athletic events and daily conversation to develop of relationship with you? Well, I think we have thrown that idea out the window by now. I can see the potential for a sincere, meaningful relationship in just minutes and at the most a couple hours if both parties are willing to dig deep and be real with each other.
Duane: As for the legacy each of us leaves behind, the receptive choices we make along the journey of life all combine to direct what we do and who we touch during our born to death time. Who or what you choose to model your life after and how you direct your universal given creative power is all about your dance with the elephant. In the end, the blame or credit for your life's legacy all lies within you. Yes, you lived in the world during a specific space-time moment at a geographical location with a given set of cultural norms and values. But in the end your cosmic legacy adds up to how you choose to apply your creative power, your receptive choice and your faith during your millisecond moment in the space-time continuum. It is the culmination of your lifelong creative discovery process.
The problem we are all challenged with has to do with the faith factor of the equation. In the final synopsis of your life there is no way to know that you did or did not fulfill your purpose and legacy. In the end, all that really matters is what you feel within. What you feel will certainly be the results of all our actions and interactions with the world, but in actuality it all comes down to a peace of mind. Did you step up to the plate and swing the bat or did you sit on the bench and look down at the dirt? Either way, the creative power and receptive choice was all yours. Your cosmic legacy and the creative interconnectedness you have with the universe will have purpose and meaning in the grand scheme of a constant evolution.
Don: It's important to remember that it's not all about you. It is the interactions and the people you touch along the way that may have the greatest impact on your legacy. Whether you were a drunken bum or the President of the United States, for the people you interact with, your legacy has equal value and merit. Remember in the evolution of the universe, there is no such thing as good and bad, virtue and wickedness, right and wrong or purposeful and aimless. The universe has a creative destiny that will include your contribution regardless of the cosmic legacy you choose to create. Each of us has our Thomas Edison blueprint to fulfill. What will be your light bulb? How will your energy shine? What electric connections will you bring to the world around you? And through the connections you make with people throughout your life, how will your light shine even brighter? And finally, upon your death, will your cosmic legacy give rise to even greater connections and energy leaving a brighter future for the universe? there.
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So who is right, science or religion? The question centers around the third component of Life's Cosmic Equation (CP + RC + F (Faith) * T = CL ), the topic of Faith. Faith is normally a word associated with religious beliefs. Most of the time we don't think of faith being a part of the secular scientific approach to solving the mysteries of the universe.
When we Dance With The Elephant, faith is the common link that bridges both communities. A scientist places belief in a theory or a hypothesis on the basis of limited evidence and as a starting point for further investigation. It is faith that motivates the cosmologist to venture into the unknown trusting and confident that new discoveries will be made. That same faith is present in the religious belief system based on spiritual apprehension rather than scientific proof or validation. God and the doctrines of the specific religion become the unknown requiring the believer to have faith.
Both science and religion are witnessing what Ray Kurzweil calls the law of accelerating returns. We live in a world where the advances made in human-created technology are expanding at an exponential rate. Not just one plus one, but two times two times two. Think of walking 30 steps in a linear world and you just walked the distance of each step times 30. Walk 30 steps in the exponential world and you just covered the distance of a single step times 1 billion. Science and religion are both facing an immediate future involving exponential rates of change and only through faith will civilization have the capacity to dance with it.
In a world of exponential accelerating change, both science and religion are pitted against the same great unknown. Hopefully, through our common star dust origins, there is a story that can bridge and unite the divide that existed in the past between these two faith based groups. Each of us must apply the entire Life's Cosmic Equation to our lives and dig deeper into the question of what will bring purpose and meaning to our lives in this new exponential evolving world we're now entering into.
This story is from Don Calhoun, co-author of the book, Dance With The Elephant:Life's Cosmic Equation. In this story he writes about his Creative Power and what drives him! We hope you enjoy this exclusive story.
DON'S WORDS ON CREATIVE POWER: DON'S STORY OF EDIE AND ELTON
My strong connection to music began on Wednesday, Oct. 10,
1979 in Northrop Auditorium on the campus of the University of
Minnesota in Minneapolis. I can still vividly remember the energy and
anticipation that evening, it was simply electric! As the house lights went down,
some 4,800 fans broke into a thunderous roar as song recording star Elton John
took the stage and to my surprise, I was all alone. It was just Elton, his piano and a
single spotlight that launched that magical night into flight. That evening three
college friends and I experienced the awesome Creative Power of Elton John's
music. My immediate reaction to the night included feelings of happiness,
euphoria and joy . All of this was a welcome respite from a very difficult and
traumatic time in my life.
Years earlier; after my mother Edie’s kindergarten incident, my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. The family doctor gave my mother only three months
to live following a very difficult brain surgery. Against all odds, my mother
survived not only months, but years. It wasn't until I was junior year in high school
that my mother underwent a second brain surgery, and another hellish round of
chemotherapy and radiation treatments. But the toll of the grapefruit-size brain
tumor and the multiple surgeries had left my mother blind and in need of constant
care.
For the most part, I never knew what it was like to have a normal mother. Early on, I
grew up having to be my mother's eyes and daily care giver. But I never looked at it
that way. For myself, she was a mom just like any other mom. She was very strong
mentally and carried herself with a quiet dignity. Throughout her struggles, she
never complained and always exemplied an attitude of gratitude. She is and will
always be, my greatest hero.
The Elton John concert took place during a time that the health of my mother was
once again seriously deteriorating. Her seizures were coming so often that she had
to be hospitalized. She was given a mouth guard to prevent her from biting her own
tongue. Eventually, she fell into a coma. I was a college junior at St. John’s
University. Witnessing my mother's final weeks of suffering brought intense
feelings of pain, isolation and helplessness. It was impossible for me to try to
concentrate on his studies. Things got so bad that I seriously considered dropping
out of college. It was a difficult time for me, trying to adhere to the gracious
standards of my dying mother and yet torn apart by all the pain and misery she had
to endure. It just wasn't fair. In fact, it "SUCKED!”
Before the concert on that October 1979 night, I had been an Elton John fan for
some time. However, after that night, my loyalty became almost fanatical.
Somehow, the experience of that evening, tapped into my Creative Power and
hardwired a link between music and positive emotions within myself. As crazy as it
may sound, music, especially Elton’s, became my tool for escaping anxiety and
discovering personal freedom. Music became emotionally hardwired into my
spiritual psyche to connect me with the feelings of joy, bliss and euphoria. From
that day forward, whenever I am feeling down or depressed, I just plug in to my
favorite tunes and it changes my mood almost instantaneously. Within moments,
my mind is transported to a magical place: one of positive energy, universal power
and divine purpose.
This is the magnitude that Creative Power can have!
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Receptive Choice is the second part of Life's Cosmic Equation that empowers you to discover the path in life that matches your creative power. It frees you from the shackles of family and social norms which allows you to break free into the horizon of your unique and personal destiny in life.
To apply Receptive Choice into your daily life requires a four step process. Stop, Look, Choose and Act. You first have to STOP what you're doing long enough to step back from the patterns of your past. Take some time to LOOK in the mirror and see yourself for who you truly are at this moment in time. How does what you see identify, support and further develop your Creative Power in life? CHOOSE if what you see and where you are is where you want to be in the future. Finally, ACT upon the choices you make to better match a path that will guide you to life's destiny and your chosen cosmic legacy.
Receptive Choice is really the golden ticket, the precious key, to understanding how to take total control and responsibility of your life. Receptive Choice means you’re going to be open and available to your creative energy. You will consciously work to understand, nurture and develop yourself, so you can maximize your unique journey in the universe. You will learn to accept responsibility for your choices and purpose in life. Receptive Choice is understanding that you control the steering wheel, brakes, and gas pedal of your life.
Since life began as we know it, all living organisms have been a part of the cosmic law of unity. Everything exists in unity with something else. Nothing lives in total isolation or independence. All living things are constantly evolving in a continuous dance with similar species, toward greater complexity and higher forms of interaction. This activity has been studied and documented by the science community that even simple cells have social and cosmic interaction. We know organic living cells, birds, fish, mammals all show signs of interaction, repelling, and attraction. We may not think they are given Receptive Choice, but they fully demonstrate through their capacity of survival, the ability to adapt and evolve through space and time.
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Your Dance With The Elephant begins by discovering, nurturing and leveraging your Creative Power. You were born with a gift that you are destined to share with the world.
Certainly we have all heard about life's purpose, its destiny, our personal passion and one's precious gifts. They all have their origins in the source of Creative Power. It wasn't until science discovered that the death of stars creating the elements that make up you and me that the Creative Power connection between all things was discovered.
Realizing and discovering your creative power will be the most powerful realization and connection to your personal destiny in all of life. It becomes a source of daily energy, vibrance, joy and exhilaration that will bring purpose and meaning to your life.
You are unique, different and special. In fact, like each of the lone stars in the sky,
there is no one exactly like you in the entire universe. You alone bring to this world
the perfect combination of gifts, talents, knowledge, body and spirit. Your Creative
Power is your personal treasure chest waiting to be opened, explored and
discovered. It is your purpose and destiny to apply your Creative Power in this
world to make an extraordinary contribution for yourself, your family, your
community, your country, your world and your universe. It is the people you touch
during the journey in life that makes the difference in what will be your legacy.
Discovering your Creative Power is your link and connection to everyone and
everything around you. It’s the spark that lights the re within you every day to
meet life’s challenges and opportunities. No one can truly tell you what your
Creative Power is. It’s something that only you can discover and nurture within
yourself. It can be as simple as truly enjoying the smell of owers in a garden or as
complex as the pursuit of some new theory of relativity in the universe. You
personally have a role to play and a story to contribute that will make a difference.
There is a self-manifestation, a purpose, a driving force that burns within you. You
are meant to tap into your Creative Power and let it guide you to reaching your
destiny. Call it what you like: life’s purpose; its destiny; your personal passions; or
life's precious gifts. All of these are describing the same universal source, your
Creative Power.
We begin with the question, where does one find purpose and passion in life?
Certainly each of us have observed people around us that seem to have no sense of purpose or direction in life. They live in the land of mush where they go through each day being tossed and turned aimlessly by the culture and systems that control their every move. They wander forlornly with glazed eyes and go through the motions of daily life without purpose or meaning.
Your sense of purpose relates directly to the first component of Life's Cosmic Equation. Creative Power or CP is the recipe of life you were destined to cook. Your job in life is to dream, discover and apply your creative passion in this world to change it in some way. You will change it as only your unique creative power can. The universe will be a better place because you dreamed, explored and discovered something very special during your life.
And when the cradle of life called death, comes knocking at your door, you'll greet it with that same creative power and passion, You will ride away on the radiant winds of the universe. But before you leave you must pass the torch of your legacy over to those who will follow you. Your light will become their light and your future will become their future. In this way your cosmic legacy will live on forever.
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In life all of us use various methods to cope with the ups and downs, the yin and yang, the good and bad we face each day. One technique we commonly use is to transfer (transference) our responsibility onto someone or something else. From an argument with your spouse, to a problem you faced at work, how often do you find yourself throwing blame and guilt onto somebody or something else other than you.
Another form of transference occurs when you look at the reasons couples use for choosing their partners. Think back on the moment when you first fell in love. What were the things that attracted you to your partner? Many times a quiet, more controlled individual will choose a more outgoing, gregarious type of person. Although people are not consciously aware of it, but they made their choice to help balance their short comings. People essentially transfer their responsibility for growing and expanding in life over to their partner.
The problem we run into with transference is it can become a road block to reaching your personal destiny and to truly follow your passion in life. Step back for a moment and think about the things in life you have transferred your power over to. The most common sources of transference are found in careers, relationships and religions. Have you transferred your destiny and receptive choice to other things in your world? Is it time to regain control and start steering your ship based on your creative power and passion for life?
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On a personal level, Creative Power is the AWESOME energy source within you.
When it is completely understood, utilized and acted upon, it will provide infinite
capacity to fully realize your dreams and reach your destiny!
So what is the source of this Creative Power and from where did it come?
To find the answer to this question, all you have to do is look into the sky on a clear
night. Did you know that on any given night, a star is being born at that very
moment? Since the beginning of time, there has been a creative force in the
universe that changes simple things into more complex. This force is
demonstrated on the cosmic level when clouds of hydrogen and helium gas fuse
together to form stars.
The birth, life and death of a star can provide great insights into better
understanding the role of Creative Power in the universe. From the moment of
birth, a star has a cosmic creative energy and purpose manifested within it. Every
star and its solar system is exclusive and totally unique unto itself. It was born with
a given size, a certain brightness, a given life span and most importantly, a
relationship with the other objects that orbit it.
These objects include: asteroids, comets, planets and sometimes even other stars.
No two stellar systems are alike.
A star lives to shine bright providing energy and gravity to its solar system. During
its life-time, important creative work is going on in the nuclear belly of the star. The
simple elements of hydrogen and helium are being converted into more complex
elements like nitrogen, oxygen and carbon. It is during the nal moments that
precede the death of a star that most of the simple to complex element conversion
takes place. In the grand finale, a star leaves its own cosmic legacy when it
explodes in a Supernova and hurls its heavier elements and precious metals back
into the galaxy providing the seeds for new stars to be born and the opportunity for
the entire cycle to begin again.
Do you know what your Creative Power is?
Unfortunately, most people have never thought of even asking the question. Look
around you. How many people do you know that have allowed the social and
cultural influences of family, friends and society to control their beliefs and
direction in life. They are blind to the inborn Creative Power of the universe and the
joyful purpose it can bring to life. Most people have turned away from the Creative
Power they felt sometime during their youth or maybe never really got acquainted
with it to begin with.
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