Call it the drama and trauma of life, the yin and yang or the pain and pleasure. The bipolar extremes of daily life are an integral part of our world and our universe as a whole. Many times the trauma, pain and negative experiences of life become the elephant or the secrets we tend to bury and disassociate from ourselves. As Don commonly says, "We stuff them in a bottle and we cork the end as tight as we can."
Unfortunately the elephant in the room and the secrets we try to bury in a bottle have a tendency to have a hidden control over our lives. Our goal in dancing with the elephant is to uncork the bottle and to bring these secrets out into the open where they can be dealt with and recognized for what the really are. This process can unleash some of the greatest potential for growth in life and will allow us to redirect our lives toward our true destiny.
Duane shares his experience of personal loss when after being married to his wife for 12 years and having had two children together, she comes out of the closet and informs Duane that she had a new partner she wants to live the rest of her life with. Duane was totally devastated and couldn't even admit the truth of his situation to other people for over a year into the separation and divorce process. It took a total of 3 years, a lengthy rebuilding process of counseling, support groups and personal development, before Duane finally had his feet back on the ground and was on his way to living life again.
As a part of Duane's healing process, he created a list of 20 goals he wanted to accomplish. These included everything from meeting another woman that he could fall in love with, to taking a trip to Europe with someone special to him. During the next 3 years after Duane's traumatic divorce, he accomplished all 20 goals he had made, he remarried and had started a new family. In looking back, the trauma of his first marriage became the launch pad to the drama of his new life, marriage and family.
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